As your loved ones age, family dynamics, routines and roles start to change. It is a challenging time for everyone, and being compassionate with yourself and others will help you find a comfortable solution for everyone.
Talking to older adults about in-home care can be a difficult conversation. We’ve put together a guide and a few tips to help you discuss this option with confidence and trust.
How to Deal Emotionally With Older Family Members?
Emotionally dealing with older family members takes time to learn. You and them are adapting to a new reality and way of relating to each other. Responsibilities might shift when your older family members can’t care for themselves as they used to, and many of those responsibilities might come your way. It is not easy to acknowledge these changes from any side.
Dealing with older family members can be emotionally draining, and you might sometimes feel lost and unsupported. Remember that you are giving your best and asking for help and support, which is also a way of caring.
What to Do When You Can No Longer Care for an Elderly Parent
As a family caregiver, you need to have a heartfelt conversation with your loved one. Approaching it positively and empathetically can be fruitful and improve your relationship. Consider the following before communicating with elderly family members:
- Start with the right mindset: Keep an open mind while listening to your loved one and reassure them that your only goal is to provide them with health and happiness.
- Choose the right time and place: Pick a space where you both feel relaxed and at ease so you can feel comfortable expressing your feelings and concerns.
- Consider small changes to your loved one’s routine: You can recommend having in-home assistance a couple of days a week so they are more open to change.
- Provide support and resources: You can offer different options, provide information that supports those options and answer any questions your loved one might have.
As long as the conversation comes from the heart and you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you’ll create a safe space that promotes open dialogue. Your family members will be eager to listen to your proposal.
Take Care of Yourself
As your loved one ages, you’ll likely take on more of their responsibilities, adding to your own. As a family caregiver, you’ll start to get more involved in their lives, and downtime, exercise or social activities might be on pause for a while.
Remember that you are human and need rest, connection and time to yourself. Taking care of yourself and finding ways to avoid burnout will help you keep assisting and actively participating in your older family members’ lives.
Tips to Convincing an Elderly Parent They Need Help at Home
It’s hard for anyone to accept that they’re aging and that the things they could once do on their own now require assistance. Your parent is likely aware of this situation, and accepting in-home care means acknowledging that they’ve aged — this might be part of why they’re refusing the conversation. Use these tips to help them be more open to accepting assistance.
1. Understand Your Loved One’s Needs and Priorities
As our loved ones age and start experiencing changes in their body, mind and ability to take care of themselves, they may also experience a loss of independence, a sense of pride and the fear of being unable to live on their own terms. Their goals might differ from yours if they want to keep as much autonomy as possible while you want to provide as much safety as possible.
2. Acknowledge Their Fears and Anxieties
Your loved one is dealing with the fear of not being able to perform everyday tasks that they have been able to handle for themselves throughout their adult life. Needing care and guidance from younger people, whom they once took care of, reinforces their idea of losing autonomy and independence.
3. Involve Other Family Members in the Conversation
In the conversation, involve other family members and close friends who genuinely care about your loved one’s well-being. Having different perspectives might help your parent come to terms with accepting in-home care. Make it a small crowd. Your loved one should feel comforted and not threatened.
4. Reframe Conversations Around You and Your Family Members
It might help to make the conversation about you, not them. You can speak as if you were in the position and ask for advice. Be vulnerable and express your fears and concerns from your heart. Let your loved one know that accepting in-home care will give you peace of mind and allow you to spend extra time and energy with them.
5. Come to an Arrangement Where They Can Still Have Freedom
By involving your parent as essential to the decision-making process, you can help them overcome the fear of losing their identity, independence and autonomy. Let them choose the option that best fits their preferences and the one they feel more comfortable with. Remember that this option will also need to give you the peace of mind and rest you deserve.
Remember that your loved ones are adults. As adults, they still want to be able to decide for themselves. Talk to them with dignity and respect.
Benefits of In-Home Care for Family Dynamics
In-home care for older adults can significantly impact family dynamics by taking responsibility for family caregivers’ shoulders. Investing in in-home care will help the family focus on enjoying themselves and strengthening their bond.
Some of the benefits that in-home care brings to family dynamics are:
- Social interaction: Enjoy the benefits of social interaction and avoid isolation with a caregiver who bonds and cares for your older parent.
- Stay home: Older adults can enjoy the comfort of their home during their aging years while being healthy, happy and safe.
- More independence and freedom: In-home care allows older adults to decide how to spend their time.
- Quality of life: Having a professional caregiver manage everyday needs can improve the quality of life for all family members.
- Family relationships: In-home care reduces stress on family members, giving them more free time to enjoy themselves.
The key to any successful relationship is open and ongoing communication. Talk to your loved one and your in-home caregiver to adjust as needed.
Who to Talk to About Elder Care
Talk to Village Caregiving about care for your loved ones. We guide you and your family through the next steps to deciding the best course of action for the older adult in your life. Our process will provide you with everything you need to be sure that you’re making the right decision by following these simple steps:
- Assessment and care planning: Our team will evaluate your loved one’s physical needs and create a personalized care plan.
- Caregiver matching: We consider your loved ones’ preferences when finding an in-house caregiver who is close to their location and fits their preferences.
- Service commencement: We begin our services with flexibility and an open mind from the first day, ready to adapt to your loved one’s needs.
- Ongoing monitoring and communication: You can contact us with any questions at any time. Our phone lines are always open.
- Quality assurance and improvement: We appreciate the feedback we get from you, older adults and your caregivers so we can improve our services.
We understand how important it is for you and your family to enjoy your home. Since 2013, we have been committed to providing quality of life, health and peace of mind through our services for older people and their family members. Contact us today. We are happy to answer all your questions and fulfill your needs.
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